literature

My Muse

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Ravenshymn's avatar
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Literature Text

Lydia, that is her name.  I chose it because I liked the spelling and the way it rolled off of my tounge.  When I was young I thought of her as the name I would use when I became a writer one day.  Things changed, and she almost became my friend, a companion of sorts, someone I could talk to about anything.  Then I got a little bit older, and things became so much worse.  Liquid fire was burning through my veins, and there was rarely a moment where I was not thinking about harming those who had hurt me so or thought of what it would be like to die young.  Lydia was hardly more than a tragic character, a fantasy where I could live out the thoughts in my head without harming myself or others in the real world.  Even as I changed a piece of my life to escape the torment, I still suffered by my own hand.  Never once have I inflicted pain upon myself, despite so much temptation.  All of the pain I caused myself was in my mind, and the leaving behind of the torture was only a small comfort.  Lydia was not as much a part of my life as before, but as things began to change again, this time for the better, she started to come back, the old friend that had never left me.  The years have gone by, and she is still a constant companion.  As before, I imagine her in my mind and it is there that I talk to her, tell her of the ideas in my imagination and the things I do not tell anyone else.  She is still a part of my life, even if she is only a story, a character that I created in my childhood that I refused to let go.  Maybe I will not talk to her as often, and maybe soon there will be no more conversations, but I am glad that I have someone, real or not, who I can trust.  She is my muse, and I am her artist of words.
Yeah, I can't fall asleep right now and it is harder than I thought it would be getting back to working on my other stories. Well, just thought I'd get started on the series of sorts, one where I mention my muse Lydia, a character I made up when I was younger. I will probably be submiting some of the one sided converstations I supposidly have with her (since she is a character, afterall) and maybe some odd things here and there, like random stories I put her in and stuff like that.
...Yeah, I really need to get some sleep.
© 2012 - 2024 Ravenshymn
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ChicagoLover1992's avatar
Who's a great writer? You're a great writer! I finally got the chance to read some of your stories. I'm so sorry it took so long.... but I finally stayed up until 4:30am for you just so I could read this. Feel proud, feel very proud my Tricia. jk Anyways, this was amazing!! Now I must sleep! hehe